How do I find why my self-esteem dropped?

Watch when the voice that tears you down speaks, and in whose tone. Often you've taken up harsh words heard long ago and keep saying them. Know the source and you'll see the words are a habit, not the truth.

Is there a way to break the habit of comparing?

Comparison itself is instinct, so you can't cut it. Instead, change the scale — from comparing with others to comparing with yesterday's you. And view the social media that makes you shabby only at set times. Hold an app that keeps handing you the scale all day and business won't run.

What's the fastest way to raise self-esteem?

There's no fast road, but there's a sure one: make small promises to yourself and keep them. Folding the blanket in the morning, one line of a diary a day. Each time a promise to yourself is kept, belief in yourself stacks up one layer.

I'm really struggling with self-esteem — is this counseling enough?

No — Grandma's nagging is comfort for fun. If self-loathing runs deep and long, that's not a load to carry alone. Please see a professional counselor. That too is a way of cherishing yourself.

🍚 Life worries

Self-esteem

Days when everyone else sparkles and only you look shabby. Grandma takes away the scale of comparison first, and tells you to look at the rich broth inside you.

👵 Grandma's nagging

Aigo, you came in with your shoulders sagging today. Did someone say something to you, or did you say it to yourself? Nine times out of ten it's the latter. You rascal — the cruelest person to you in this whole world is you. If someone else said such things to you, would you stand for it? Yet you say them to yourself day and night, so how could your heart survive? And put that phone down. Watching everyone's brag-feast and playing the game of feeling shabby — that's the worst bargain in the world. Others lay out only the one sparkling spoonful of their lives, while you see all the way down to your own dish-washing sink — how could that be a fair comparison? You know why my shop's broth is so rich? Because it's beef bones simmered slow for forty years. Not one flashy garnish, yet customers came forty years for that broth. People are the same. There are flashy-garnish types and slow-simmered-bone types like you. The bone never knows its own richness. What you endured today, what you gave to others, the years you've weathered — that's all your broth. From today, speak to yourself as you'd speak to another. If it's something you couldn't say to someone else, don't say it to yourself. You're a far better sort than you think. If there's one thing Grandma's eye is sharp at, it's reading people, you rascal.

Sound familiar?

After scrolling social media, my life looks shabby.: Don't flip your own table over a photo of someone's feast. Even that feast has dishes to wash.
Even when praised, it feels like empty flattery I can't accept.: Praise is like gukbap. No need to nitpick — just eat it with thanks. A simple 'thank you' will do.
One mistake and I think 'of course, I can't do anything.': Grading a whole person by one mistake is like throwing out the whole pot over one drop of broth.
I'm generous to others but so harsh on myself.: Treat yourself as a guest too. You are the most precious guest to arrive at your own home.

🍚 Grandma's prescription table

Your prescription is a bowl of milky sagol gukbap. Like broth simmered forty years, there's a deep stock long steeped inside you too — think on that as you spoon it up. And the action: from tonight, before sleep, write in a single line one thing you did well today. Nothing grand — ate your meals, wasn't late, helped someone. Put away the scale that compares you to others, and compare only with yesterday's you. Stack it up for just a month and you'll see with your own eyes how rich your broth is.

FAQ

Q.How do I find why my self-esteem dropped?: A.Watch when the voice that tears you down speaks, and in whose tone. Often you've taken up harsh words heard long ago and keep saying them. Know the source and you'll see the words are a habit, not the truth.
Q.Is there a way to break the habit of comparing?: A.Comparison itself is instinct, so you can't cut it. Instead, change the scale — from comparing with others to comparing with yesterday's you. And view the social media that makes you shabby only at set times. Hold an app that keeps handing you the scale all day and business won't run.
Q.What's the fastest way to raise self-esteem?: A.There's no fast road, but there's a sure one: make small promises to yourself and keep them. Folding the blanket in the morning, one line of a diary a day. Each time a promise to yourself is kept, belief in yourself stacks up one layer.
Q.I'm really struggling with self-esteem — is this counseling enough?: A.No — Grandma's nagging is comfort for fun. If self-loathing runs deep and long, that's not a load to carry alone. Please see a professional counselor. That too is a way of cherishing yourself.

Get scolded by Grandma

Grandma's heard these too

Laziness and procrastination

To-dos in a mountain, body under the blanket, only the mind racing — the cycle of putting off. Grandma knows the true face of laziness is fear.

Insomnia

Body like lead but mind wide awake, meeting the dawn with only a phone in hand. Grandma starts by fixing the habit of dragging worries into bed.